Divorce is not an easy process regardless of the circumstances however, with a little planning women can cut back on the anxiety and anxiety in the period before the divorce process and following divorce. Although it can be a difficult period for all involved, the process can be much more challenging and complex for women, particularly women who are mothers. “The key to a better divorce is to set your expectations reasonably as early as possible, and to try your hardest to be kind to yourself, and (as hard as it may be) to your spouse,” Says an award-winning Family lawyer Laura Naser. “The way to set your expectations reasonably is to inform yourself so that you understand what the process will entail and to get bespoke advice on how our laws might apply to you in your unique circumstances.”
MEET THE EXPERT
Laura Naser is a senior associate in the department of family law in Penningtons Manches Cooper. Laura Naser is also the writer of A Family Law Lawyer’s Manual for Separation and Divorce How to get the outcome you both want.
To make the process a bit more manageable to handle, we have compiled Naser’s most valuable advice for women who is going through divorce must listen to.
Start a War Chest
You’ll require your own funds to file for divorce. You’ll need to provide for you and your kids for a time. If you’re dependent on your spouse, be aware that they’ll decide to stop support in a flash ensure that you’re prepared prior to filing for divorce. If there’s a way to establish an distinct account to protect yourself from the possibility of financial disasters in the future, now is the right time to start it.
“If a client has savings in their own name or joint name with another, then they will need to meet their own legal fees from those funds,” Naser says. Naser. “If a spouse holds the majority of the family’s money, then it is possible to ask, or even obtain a court order, that they provide funds to the spouse who either has no funds of their own, or has now depleted their own funds, to meet their legal fees and living expenses during the process.”
If you are required to take money from a friend or relative ensure that you make a promissory note to ensure that the court can consider the loan as one you must repay and not as the gift.
Keep a Divorce Calendar
It is important to keep track of the meetings with your lawyer, and note down deadlines for court hearings. It can be beneficial to record conversations between you and your partner. “The divorce process itself is predominantly done through the court’s online service which sets out clear guidance and timelines for the divorce itself,” Naser says. Naser. “The spouses’ financial separation and agreeing suitable arrangements for their children, if they have any, are not part of the divorce process. If you have a family lawyer then taking note of any dates and tasks they ask of you and immediately putting them into your diary is the best way to keep on top of progress, and to keep your costs down.”
A divorce calendar could be used to prove involvement in the lives of your children and show when your spouse failed to respect the appointment and/or violated an agreement court order. The dates of visits with children have to be recorded. Make a note of meetings with your child’s coaches, doctors, teachers and tutors, too.
A divorce can generate a large amount of documents. The most efficient method of keeping track of the various papers is to keep them all organized in one location, whether electronically or printed on paper. Place the documents together in order of chronologicality, and create an index or create specific files for the various kinds of divorce documents. For instance, you can include letters to your lawyer, agreements in draft financial details, Pleadings. Naser suggests the creation of a sub-group to handle all emails so that they are easy to locate.
“The only divorce document that I recommend printing and keeping in a safe place is the final divorce document, which will evidence that your marriage has been legally brought to an end, and can also be used as evidence to change your name should you wish,” Naser says. Naser. “If you have children together and have had to obtain a court order setting out the arrangements for your children, I recommend traveling abroad with a printed copy of your child arrangements order.”
Stay Off Social Media
Be cautious when posting content to social platforms. Although it might appear harmless to talk about your current situation , or to show off your newly found freedom, it can affect the divorce process. “I am increasingly seeing arguments which have been fueled by a social media post, either during the relationship or as a consequence of the relationship breakdown,” Naser says. Naser. “I once had a case in which we used a spouse’s new partner’s Trip Advisor reviews to prove his evidence was not honest.”
Stick To a Routine
The divorce process will change your life It’s best if you attempt to make things as normal as you can. Avoid skipping meals or changing your routines for sleeping. Routines can help you focus. Exercise is also a good method to reduce stress. If you are able, make sure to maintain your social activities too. “I would recommend speaking to a therapist to help you through the process,” Naser says. Naser. “Friends and family can be part of your support network, but I do often advise a little caution because they will want the best for you, and therefore may not always be the best soundboards due to their natural bias.”
Keep an positive attitude and try not to get caught up in unnecessary disputes in your relationship with the spouse. It is essential to get the signature of your spouse on an agreement for settlement before the divorce is finalized and you’ll be parents for many years after divorce. “How you communicate and where you choose to have those discussions will play a part,” Naser says. Naser. “Avoid situations which you know may be triggering, such as when either or both of you have consumed alcohol, in the family home after one of you has moved out, or at a once favored date-night restaurant.”
If a face-to-face conversation can escalate into a heated argument, Naser recommends opting for an email conversation because the process “slows the pace and gives you both time to fully consider what it is you want to say and how you want to express it.” Make sure to read or send emails during normal business hours . Never click send if you’re angry or emotional. In these instances, let an attorney or a friend review the email first.
Make a Plan
Try to do each day at one day at. Concentrate on the present, not on the past. Make sure you control only the items that are within your control. A lot of things that go into divorce are beyond the control of you, however it is not possible to take them out of the proportions. Set up a strategy and implement taking control of your divorce, and not let it become a over your life.
Gather Financial Information
The more organized you are with your financial records, the lower the costs of an attorney and boost your odds of winning. You’ll need to collect and manage lots of data for your lawyer or for your case. “Ahead of my initial meetings with my new clients I ask them to send to me the key dates of their relationship from when they first met,” Naser says. Naser. “I also ask for as much as they know of their own and their joint finances with their spouse, along with a history of how their assets and debts have changed during their relationship, to include any loans, gifts or inheritance either have received during that time.” Include information about their children, including the date of their birth as well as any health or educational requirements.
Many courts have a finance statement form which can be obtained from the office of the clerk of court and occasionally online. If you can find this form and complete it this form, it will assist you to arrange and manage your financial data. It should be handed to your lawyer during the initial meeting to avoid time and money.
“Usually discussions about how to separate your finances cannot take place until the financial disclosure has been completed by both spouses, so I recommend keeping this as a priority task,” Naser adds. Naser.
Do Your Research
It is essential to know all that you could about the divorce before it gets too late during the divorce process. If you have no idea or no information about the divorce process it is possible that you will not make the right decisions or make the right choices. You can increase the level of comfort and increase your chances of success by conducting research and understanding what’s likely to transpire before it actually happens. “Getting decent advice early on can make the world of difference to how you discuss your separation with your spouse and setting your expectations accurately will give you some confidence and put you on track for a better separation,” Naser says. Naser.