Marriage as an institution undergoes great amounts of stress. No matter what the cause of contention may be communication is your greatest tool for solving the issues and avoid tragedies like divorce from occurring.

It may be ugly, hard, one-sided or seemingly impossible but the truth is that communication is the lifeblood of marriage. In order to maintain strong, healthy relationships with your spouse blow are healthy habits to develop in your marriage in regards to communication.

First and foremost, the communication with your spouse must be honest. Violating the trust and withholding information from your spouse can create contention and breed disdain.

Once your spouse discovers that you have lied about something, the seed of distrust has been planted. When any other concerns or issues come to mind in the future, your spouse will remember what has been said in the past and a lingering doubt may arise.

Due to our nature as human beings, we miss the mark at times when it comes to considering the long term effects that our choices have. It is important to consider and think: "How will what I am about to lie about effect us in the long run?"

Honesty is multifaceted. It is more than just lying that should be considered when honesty is spoken of. To be truthful in your communication means you willing give information to your spouse.

Withholding information that your spouse is entitled to know is also very damaging. If you pick and choose what they should and should not hear, even in dire circumstances, you are eliminating the support that your spouse could provide at a much needed time.

The next crucial aspect of communication in marriage is asking questions. Do you ask your spouse questions? Do you ask for understanding? Are you making sure that you not only understand what he is saying but what his body language is showing you?

Be aware of how you ask your questions. It is important to ask questions that are not pointed or cutting toward your spouse. Instead, remain a level of respect for your spouse in the way that you are addressing them with your questions.

It is very effective to be apologetic or ask for clarification in a kind way. Just as you may teach your children, it is important that you use manners and ask for forgiveness for misunderstanding. Remember, we are all human. We get confused; we make mistakes, learn from them, and then move forward.

The Third point to be made about effective communication in marriage is that communication takes time! If you are going to effectively communicate with your spouse, you must communicate regularly.

This point may seem silly to some but it is often mistaken. Look at how much time you are taking, talking to your spouse. Strong verbal communication is healthy.

Family law attorneys have indicated that this is where the breakdown starts. As spouses are simply not letting each other understand what they are thinking, they are creating dissonance and allowing for doubt to creep in

Inform your spouse about the simple, day-to-day activities that you are doing. Let them understand what you think and how you feel.

Take time to talk with them directly and face to face. In a technology driven world such as the one we live in today, we can be caught up in impersonal communication.

Take the opportunity to go on a date, out to dinner, on a walk, or simply just relaxing and talking with one another. As you do so you can pick up on the simple cues of your spouse and rekindle the flame of your relationship.

Finally, to build off of the previous point, it is crucial to understand that communication requires not only your mouth but your ears too! It is so important to not only be heard, but to hear what your spouse is saying as well.

Communication is said to be a give and take where you should listen more than you talk. This shows that you are engaged in what your spouse is saying. Active listening shows that you are not only taking in what they are saying but you are processing it as well.

Answer what she may be saying with more than just a single word response. Show her that you are engaged in the conversation with your body language. Give him eye contact and position yourself in a way that shows you care about what is being said.

With these four points as guideposts towards better and more effective communication, you can avoid divorce. You and your spouse will enjoy each other more, and the bond of marriage will become that much stronger.